Monthly Archives: June 2015

On the road again

i would say erin and i are doing ok.  I had not travelledas much since my trip to europe.  We have more good days than bad. When she is happy, she expresses how much she loves howwe are now.   It always comes with a bitter side as she is reminded how we got here.  

I am on the road today, having left home monday.  It Is always difficult on her when i leave for the obviousreasons.  I don’t know how to reassure her that i realize my mistakes and won’t turn down that path again.  I  am not frustratedby this because i understand her fear and suspicion.  I accept my fate as caused by my actions and mine alone.  I wish it more for her peace of mind, not mine.  She deserves the best life i can give her and wish the triggers and reminders would lessen.   

I triggered her this morning and haven’t heard from her since. She is often silent until she has processed her anger.  I want now, regularly reaching out thru text, reassuring her of my love.  Some bitter people would say too little, too late. For my part, it is not a little effort.  She is my purpose, my every thought and my heart.  Never again will my effort towards my wife be anything but complete.  As for too late, there is no such thing if there is love in her for me.  I believe in us and that is because of her.  

Her love is the source of my will, my patience and determination. Our love is a precious gift which i will not squander again.